Big Nothing Quotes

Charlie: [troubled] I put him in the septic tank

Gus: [confused] Who?

Charlie: [nervously] The corpse.

Gus: [still confused] What corpse?

Charlie: [matter-of-factly] The reverend's corpse.

Gus: [stunned] He wasn't a corpse when I left him Charlie

Gus: [disbelievingly] You shot me.

Agent Hymes: That's the first true thing you've said yet.

Charlie: Did you check her pulse?

Josie McBroom: Well I assumed that when you have an axe lodged in your skull, your pulse tends to bottom out on you.

Penelope Wood: [cell phone rings from car] Are you going to answer that?

Josie McBroom: No, it's probably just my ex-boyfriend!

Charlie: Holy Moly!

Gus: Who says "Holy Moly"?

Josie McBroom: Freakin' fantastic! Don't you see? None of us has to run away or turn ourselves in.

Charlie: What do you propose? We roam the country living on the land, like Bonnie and Clyde... and Clyde?

Gus: Who the hell are you?

Mrs. Smalls: Considering that I live here, young man, the question is, "Who the hell are you?"

Reverend Smalls: [as he catches Gus sneaking around his house] Who the hell are you?

Gus: [stammers] Er... I'm the guy that's here to collect the money.

Reverend Smalls: Give me your gun!

Gus: I don't have one!

Reverend Smalls: You've come to get money from me and you ain't packing?

[pause]

Reverend Smalls: Give my regards to the big bearded guy!

Gus: You don't mean Santa Clause, do ya?

[the old man points the gun at Gus as Gus closes his eyes; three loud gunshots are heard]

[first lines]

Charlie: [Charlie is narrating] My name is Charlie Wood.

[pause]

Charlie: I think I made a big mistake...

[repeated line]

Gus: Okie-dokie!

Gus: [sees Charlie looking at the Jesus statuette teary-eyed] What are you doing?

Charlie: He's crying. Jesus, Gus, he's crying for what we've done, for our sin.

Gus: [looks at the statuette, sees the "tears", then looks up at the ceiling]

Charlie: [starts crossing himself] Jesus. Hail Mary, full of grace...

Gus: [interrupting Charlie] Bathtub.

[points above to the ceiling]

Charlie: [looks at the ceiling and sees the crack where water is dripping from; jumps to his feet] GOD... dammit! Is that part of your plan? Huh? After you kill somebody you take a nice hot bath?

Gus: I didn't kill anybody, first of all! Second, I don't go around praying to leaky ceilings!

Charlie: [panicked] Can't we get him out of the tank?

Gus: Well yeah how long has been down there breathing liquid shit?

Charlie: [earnestly] Ten minutes, tops.

Charlie: Maybe I should just turn myself in...

Gus: No, no, no... Nobody's turning anybody in, okay? Now did you know that the priest was alive when you killed him?

Charlie: [sounds offended] No!

Gus: There you go then!

Charlie: [as they're leaving the reverend's house] Wait... Wait... Wait!

Gus: [excitedly] No no no no no no no! Rule number four: Never return to the scene of the crime!

Charlie: [calmly] It's Josie's card, I left it by the phone.

Gus: [stares at him blankly for a second] Rule number five, if your partner turns out to be an idiot, forget rule number four.