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[first lines]
Snowman Girl: [to her snowman] Just your nose and we're done, Mr. Frost.
[an older boy smashes the snowman's head with a baseball bat]
Snowman Girl: [screaming] You buttfucker!
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Luke: [reading an internet article] "Want to put her in the mood? Watch a horror movie. When we're scared our brain pumps out dopamine, the same chemical we release when we're aroused."
Garrett: So, fear really makes girls wet?
Luke: Told ya.
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Garrett: Only reason to read this stuff is for the pictures.
Luke: It's a plus... I know what women like.
Garrett: Dude...
Luke: What?
Garrett: She's like twice your age. I really don't think it's gonna happen.
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[discussing Robert's preference in Christmas ornaments]
Deandra Lerner: Honestly, Robert, this is so...
Robert Lerner: Meterosexual?
Deandra Lerner: There's no such word. It's metro - metrosexual.
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Deandra Lerner: Now don't stay up late and watch scary movies, okay? It'll give you nightmares again.
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Ashley: What delusional infant thinks that staging a break-in is going to get you to second base?
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Garrett: Luke, truth or dare.
Luke: Well, it will be dare, of course.
Garrett: Okay. I dare you to touch her tit.
Ashley: No! Please don't do that.
Luke: It's the universal rule, Ashley. Do you have a preference? Right or left?
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Luke: Truth or dare?
Garrett: Dare - and you better dare us to make out or something.
Luke: Not on your life.
Garrett: Why not? Why do you get to have all the fun?
Luke: Because she's *my* babysitter.
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Ashley: No, not again with the duct tape!
[Luke slaps a piece of tape over Ashley's mouth]
Luke: A thousand-and-one uses for duct tape.
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Garrett: I want my mom.
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Garrett: Whoa, whoa. You're fuckin' Home Aloneing him?
Better Watch Out Quotes
Extended Reading