Batman: Assault on Arkham Quotes

[Joker takes aim at "Batman's" head with a gun, but before he pulls the trigger, a bomb in "Batman's" neck explodes]

The Joker: ...Best gun ever!

[He lifts "Batman's" head and sees Black Spider's face]

The Joker: Denzel... what have they done to you?

[laughs]

Amanda Waller: You going to write a blog and expose us? That's checkmate, Batman.

Batman: I am warning you.

The Joker: I'm here, bitches! And I've got favors for everyone!

[hurls out explosives]

Amanda Waller: What can I say? I break a lot of eggs to make an omelet.

Batman: And because you're such a messy cook, the Riddler managed to escape.

[On a helicopter, Batman and the Joker fight. Harley tries to fly the plane]

The Joker: You know she's going to kill us, right?

Killer Frost: The Joker has a dirty bomb? That gives me the chills.

Captain Boomerang: Ice puns? Really?

Harley Quinn: [on the Joker] I'm fine. We're done. He's a jerk. Whatever.

Killer Frost: [sarcasm] Well, I'm convinced.

G.C.P.D. Commissioner James Gordon: We've got it under control, Batman, you can...

[sees Batman is gone]

G.C.P.D. Commissioner James Gordon: ...and I'm talking to myself. Again.

The Riddler: Riddle me this: what belongs to you, but others use it more than you do?

Amanda Waller: Your name.

The Riddler: Huh...? You've heard that one.

Amanda Waller: No, I have Google. Like the rest of the world.

[Harley tries to break into the Joker's cell]

The Joker: [taps his cell walls] Sorry, hun. Bulletproof.

Harley Quinn: Even better, puddin'.

[She fires through an air hole of the cell. Joker ducks as the bullet ricochets wildly around the walls]

The Joker: [points a gun at Deadshot] You! New guy! I don't like people touching my stuff!

[Deadshot just walks forward and touches his forehead to the barrel]

Deadshot: Go ahead. You're out of bullets.

The Joker: I am not!

Deadshot: You are. You're going to pull the trigger, and when nothing happens, I'm going to punch you in the throat and bash your brains out. Three... two... one...

The Joker: Hold on, stop counting for a second! I know there are bullets...

[fires the gun into the air]

The Joker: See?

[Deadshot punches the Joker, who grabs Harley and tumbles down the laundry chute with her]

Captain Boomerang: Mate... you just out-crazied The Joker!

[Deadshot finds Harley in his bed]

Deadshot: What do you want?

Harley Quinn: I got an itch I thought you could help me scratch, cowboy...

[Angry, Deadshot throws her down on the bed and pins her arms above her head]

Harley Quinn: WHOO! Good start!

Deadshot: Oh, what the hell...

[He starts making out with Harley. She wraps her legs around him and they both tumble off the bed with a crash...]

Harley Quinn: Yahtzee!

[Deadshot shows he can throw darts better than Captain Boomerang]

Captain Boomerang: Lucky shot.

Deadshot: Right. Let's see *you* do it.

[Captain Boomerang throws a dart at the board, but it ricochets around the room and then flies at Deadshot's head... who just catches it]

Captain Boomerang: Sorry, mate. Looks like that one took a bad bounce.

[Deadshot punches Captain Boomerang]

Deadshot: Let's call it even... mate.

[repeated line]

Harley Quinn: Yahtzee!

[last lines]

[Amanda notices a line of sight on her chest]

Amanda Waller: Motherf...

Deadshot: [aiming at her with a gun] Bang.

[all the criminals Waller assembled see each other]

Harley Quinn: AW CRAP! Not this again!

Captain Boomerang: [to Deadshot] You too? It's like a bloody recurring nightmare.

[arriving in Arkham through a parachute]

Harley Quinn: Don't worry! I landed on my head!

Harley Quinn: [to Captain Boomerang] Go wave your boomer-Wang at the shark guy!

King Shark: [Aggressively] Do it and I'll bite it off!

S.C.U. Officer: [cornering Killer Frost and the Riddler] This is the Special Crimes Unit! Surrender and return to your cells!

S.C.U. Officer: [Frost gives him the finger] Light them up!