A Simple Favor Quotes

[from trailer]

Sean: She's an enigma my wife. You can get close to her, but you never quite reach her. She's like a, beautiful ghost.

[from trailer]

Emily: Did you just take my picture? Erase it.

Stephanie: I guess I'm not the kind of person you're normally friends with.

Emily: Oh, you don't want to be friends with me, trust me.

[from trailer]

Stephanie: Five days ago, Emily went missing.

[from trailer]

Emily: Wanna trade confessions?

Stephanie: Nah, nah, nah.

Emily: Come on. What's the wildest thing you've ever done?

[from trailer]

Emily: Stephanie. I need your help.

Stephanie: Uh, are you okay?

Emily: I'm fine, but I do need just a simple favor. Can you come over?

[repeated line]

Emily: Brotherfucker

Stephanie: [Running after Emily] Emily! Emily, stop! Emily, you can't outrun this! Don't do this to Nicky! Come on, you're still his mom!

Emily: [Stops and turns to Stephanie] Yeah, I am. But you sure as shit won't be.

[as she is about to shoot Stephanie, she is suddenly hit by a car; the car stops and Darren gets out]

Darren: America's hybrids. Silent, but deadly.

Stephanie: [Referring to the friendship bracelet] Here. I made that for you.

Emily: You made this for me?

Stephanie: Thought it would go with that pinstriped suit you have.

Emily: Really? That's nice. No one does stuff like this for me.

Stephanie: I used to watch those Bewitched reruns on TV Land, and I always thought it was so classy when Darren would come from work and Samantha would fix him a Martini. So every time we do this, I feel so high-tone.

Emily: My god. You're such a nerd.

Diana Hyland: She never let me paint her face except for this one. I've never seen such a beautiful girl want to be so invisible or just completely vanish. But you know what, it takes money to vanish, and so she took everything that she could from me. You know how I would paint you? Beautific. Like, like a fucking saint.

Stephanie: I get that a lot.

Diana Hyland: You should embrace it. People love saints.

Stephanie: Yeah, after they're dead.

Stephanie: [Referring to Davis and Chris dying in the car crash] It's my fault. I'm the reason they're both dead.

Emily: No. Hey, don't do that. People, people do terrible things for their own fucked-up reasons. That's on them, not on you.

Stephanie: Yeah. I miss him.

Emily: Which one?

Stephanie: Both. I'm lonely. I think loneliness probably kills more people than cancer.

[First lines]

Stephanie: [Talking to the camera while doing an entry for her vlog] Hi moms, Stephanie here. Today, as promised, I am going to share my zucchini chocolate chip cookie recipe. But first, many of you have asked me for an update on the Emily situation. And for those of you who are new to my vlog, you should know my best friend Emily is missing right now. She asked me a simple favor, to pick up her son Nicky from school, which was five days ago, and she hasn't come back yet, so I'm sorry. We're all really worried, and I'm doing everything I can to help the police track her down. But I'm realizing I don't know her as well as I thought I did. It's like my mom used to say, God rest her soul, um, "Secrets are like margarine, easy to spread, bad for the heart". But as different as we are, I do consider Emily my best friend. She is this wonderful, elegant person. And our sons brought us together, actually. Well, you know, for our new friends, I'll just started from the beginning. I met Emily a few weeks ago at school. It was international cuisine day in my son's first grade class, and once again, I drew Sweden, which meant my famous meatless meatballs.

Sean: What did you guys get up to today at school?

Nicky Nelson: I saw my mom.

Sean: Um, I understand, Nicky, that sometimes we think we see people that we miss even if they're gone.

Nicky Nelson: No, I saw her. She was right outside the fence by the kickball yard at recess.

Sean: Well, lots of people look like someone else.

Nicky Nelson: Nobody looks like mom! She told me to say hi to Stephanie.

Sean: Nicky, this is unhealthy.

Nicky Nelson: Miles saw her too, right Miles?

Miles Smothers: I think I did. But I don't know. I was playing tetherball.

Stephanie: Did you two hatch this up? Is this a game, like when you smash everything with trucks? Because you know what we say about lying.

Nicky Nelson: I'm not lying! I saw her! Fuck you!

[Leaves the dinner table and runs off]

Sean: Hey, Nicky!

Miles Smothers: Oopsy.

Emily: [Picks up her son] Come here, little dude. Oh, my baby! Look at your shirt. Did any food make it into your mouth?

Miles Smothers: Ask her, Nicky! Ask her!

Emily: Ask me what?

Nicky Nelson: We want a play date.

Emily: Oh, we can't, mommy already has a play date with a symphony of anti-depressants. Let's go.

Miles Smothers, Nicky Nelson: Play date! Play date! Play date!

Emily: Baby, please don't do this. I got to go. Come on. I got a ton of work to do.

Nicky Nelson: You don't let me have any fun.

Emily: That's not true. I let you tear my labia as you exited my body, so you're welcome.

Emily: You are so nice. I have no idea how you've survived this long.

Stephanie: I'm not as nice as you think, so.

Emily: Are you baiting me?

Stephanie: No! I'm just saying, everybody has a dark side.

Emily: Mm-hmm.

Stephanie: Some of us are better at hiding at it than others.

Emily: Want to trade confessions?

Stephanie: No, no. No.

Emily: Come on, what's the wildest thing you've ever done?

Stephanie: Oh, I... no, I don't know. I shouldn't. You go first.

Emily: Okay, um, a few months ago, Sean and I had his TA over dinner and drinks, and a threesome.

Stephanie: Was Sean jealous of him?

Emily: Did I say it was a him?

Stephanie: That's very cool, sis. Very cool.

Stephanie: [Pointing a gun at Sean] You used me.

[to Emily]

Stephanie: You used me too. But you had me made you dinner, watching your kid, sucking your dick.

Sean: I had no idea that she was still alive!

Stephanie: Stop lying.

Emily: Okay, you guys. I think we should just sit down and talk this out.

Sean: Emily, you sit down. You hated Stephanie. You used to watch her vlog and rip her apart.

Stephanie: All I wanted was to be your friend.

Emily: You were. And then you fucked my husband and my insurance plan.

Sean: Don't blame her! This is so typical of you!

Emily: Sean, I was just trying to get us out of crushing fucking debt.

Sean: Yeah, maybe if you had the good sense to give me a call, I could've helped you with this little plot of yours.

Emily: Oh, please, you haven't come up with a decent plot in ten years.

Sean: Really? Right now?

Stephanie: Can I say something, as the lady with the gun? Nicky deserves better than both of you.

Emily: Fuck you! I love my kid.

Sean: Shut up!

Emily: [after Stephanie takes a picture of her] Did you just take my picture?

Stephanie: I'm yearbook mom.

Emily: Did I ask you to take my picture? Erase it.

Stephanie: Oh, you look really chic. It's just for Faces and Places. Just for the other parents.

Emily: Erase it, or I'll slap a fucking injunction on your yearbook. Do you understand?

Stephanie: Yeah. Okay.

[Deletes the picture]

Stephanie: Yeah, it's gone. Whoa. Bye bye.

Emily: Don't do that again.

Stephanie: Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. Or I didn't mean to offend you. Um, I'm sure that stuff's really sensitive in your industry.

Emily: Oh, no. It's all good.

Stephanie: I'm probably not the kind of person that you're normally friends with.

Emily: Oh, you do not want to be friends with me. Trust me.

Diana Hyland: Okay. What do you know about her? How did she die?

Stephanie: In the lake, on heroin.

Diana Hyland: Well, you don't believe that, or you wouldn't be here.

Stephanie: She didn't ever mention Michigan, did she?

Diana Hyland: [Diana pushes a box towards Stephanie] That is the only thing that she ever left here. She said she had it since she was a kid. I warn you, you go poking around in her past, you're going to find some shit that is terrifying. She was not a normal person like you or me.