A Rickle in Time Quotes

Beth Smith: I WILL REACH INTO HEAVEN AND YANK YOUR SCREAMING DEER SOUL BACK!

Veterinarian: Jesus.

Beth Smith: Sweetie, is your shirt on backwards?

Jerry Smith: ...Yeah! I like it this way. I'm not stupid!

Rick: Man that guy is the Redgrin Grumbholt of pretending he knows what's going on.

[Summer, Rick, and Morty are experiencing a glitch as a result of the siblings' bickering and their reality has been split into two hypothetical timelines, which Rick is scrambling to reconcile]

Rick: Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually, everything either is or isn't. And we've got about four hours to be "is."

Morty: [in both timelines] Or...?

Rick: We "isn't." Alright, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities, and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, I'm probably about to press this button in both possibilities at exactly the same time.

Morty, Summer: [in both timelines] How do you know that...

Rick: Whatever you're asking, the answer is I'm amazing. And away we go!

[Rick presses a button on the time crystal and the two realities begin to mend. Unfortunately, Morty and Summer are standing on opposite sides of their respective counterparts, interrupting their fusion]

Rick: Huh. What do you now, it's working.

Morty, Summer: Ow, ow, ow!

Rick: Oh, shit!

[time splits in two again]

Rick: What the hell is wrong with you two! I-I mean you four!

Morty, Summer: That hurt! That was painful.

Rick: Good! I'm glad it was painful, you deserve it! I saw you! Y-you're both

[belches]

Rick: all over the damn place! We've been split for twenty minutes and your lives are already scattered to the quantum fucking wind?

Morty: If you could get out that whole time why didn't you?

Rick: Because I waited until I was certain it was what I wanted to do, Morty! That's the difference between you and me: I'm certain, and you're a walking burlap sack filled with turds.

Morty: If you could get out that whole time why didn't you?

Morty: Because I waited until I was certain it was what I wanted to do, Morty! That's the difference between you and me: I'm certain, and you're a walking burlap sack filled with turds.

[Rick has given Morty his collar, saving his life but sacrificing himself]

Rick: I'm okay with this. Be good, Morty. Be better than me.

[Rick spots Morty's broken collar]

Rick: Holy shit, the other collar! I'm not okay with this! I am *not* okay with this!