11:14 Quotes

  • Officer Hannagan: How 'bout the penis?

  • Mark: [after coming up with a story to tell the cops] You hear that Eddie? I never hit you.

    Eddie: Why should I lie?

    Mark: What are you talking about?

    Eddie: Why should I lie, when this is all your fault?

    Mark: My fault? How the fuck is this my fault?

    Eddie: Well if you hadn't been so worried about your paint job, my penis would be in my pants right now and not in my fucking hand!

  • [first lines]

    Jack: [talking on his cell phone] I'm on my way back from Benny's. I'm almost home. Tell me where you are and I'll come get you.

  • Norma: This can't be happening.

    Jack: What happened?

    Norma: Chief Garby called. My only child has been hit by a car.

    Jack: They just called?

    Norma: Right after I came home, just a few minutes after I left you.

  • Duffy: Where the fuck's my bowling ball?

  • Officer Hannagan: [talking to a medic] We got a human penis right there by the curb. Somebody's gotta be looking for that.

  • Officer Hannagan: Don't move!

    Norma: You'll burn for what you did to my daughter!

    Jack: [confused] Daughter?

  • Frank: [after Mark throws a jelly donut at his windshield] Stupid little shits!

  • Frank: So is that Aaron's car outside? I thought you weren't seeing him anymore?

    Cheri: I'm not.

    Frank: Then what's he doing back here?

    Cheri: We're just hanging out.

    Frank: Cheri, Cheri. I do not trust that guy.

    Cheri: So you said.

    Frank: Look at me. If he hits you again, I'll kill him.

    Cheri: I can take care of myself.

  • [last lines]

    Duffy: [holding a bag of money] Cheri! I got it!

    Cheri: [yelling back to Duffy] My car won't start.

    Jack: [on Cheri's cell phone] Hello? Are you still there?

    Cheri: [talking to Jack] Listen, I might get Duffy's half after all. I'll call you back.

  • Eddie: What's with the books?

    [Tim holds up a book and tries to light it on fire]

    Eddie: You're gonna burn a book?

    Tim: It's not like this is great fucking literature or anything. I'm doing the world a favor.

  • Tim: Dude, you just broke my box.

    Eddie: Yeah, you're mom told me that last night.

  • Mark: [referring to Eddie's penis] Tim, it's been cut off!

    Tim: So they can reattach it.

    Mark: Well how the fuck are they gonna do that?

    Tim: What am I, a surgeon? They use leeches and shit.

    Mark: This is so stupid! What about the cops?

    Tim: Just be here when I get back.

  • Eddie: Did you get it? Did you get it?

    [Tim throws Eddie's severed penis onto his lap]

    Tim: Don't say I never did anything for you.

  • Buzzy: You do what you gotta do, but I'm not going to open up this drawer.

    [Duffy points his pistol at her]

    Duffy: Look at me.

    Buzzy: Why, so you could shoot me in the face?

    Duffy: C'mon, just look at me.

    [Buzzy still refuses]

    Duffy: Goddamnit, you're so stubborn!

  • Eddie: [after Tim accidentally hits Eddie with the van's window] Fuck me man, that was my head!

  • Duffy: [after Buzzy accidentally shoots the glass of a refrigerator] What the fuck is wrong with you?