The Dead Collector:
Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body:
Here's one.
The Dead Collector:
That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector:
What?
Large Man with Dead Body:
Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector:
'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body:
Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I'm not.
The Dead Collector:
He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body:
Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body:
No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector:
Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector:
I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body:
Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector:
I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body:
Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector:
I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body:
Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector:
Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't:
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body:
Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body:
Right.
