Denice the Bridesmaid:
[had a bit too much to drink]
Hey, Connor.
Connor Mead:
Hey.
Denice the Bridesmaid:
How you been?
Connor Mead:
Well, I'm at a wedding. I'm seeing ghosts in the john. I've been better.
Denice the Bridesmaid:
What were you and Sandra's mom talking about so *intensely*?
Connor Mead:
Casual sex.
[which causes her to splutter in her drink]
Connor Mead:
So what's your stance on casual sex, bridesmaid?
Denice the Bridesmaid:
On top! I mean, I'm... I'm for it.
Connor Mead:
Oh, speaking of which, I think I owe you an apology. I've enjoyed the company of all the other bridesmaids except you. I mean, you must feel terribly left out.
Denice the Bridesmaid:
[nods]
I do.
[goofy smile, chuckles]
Connor Mead:
I do hope that there's some way to rectify this injustice.
Denice the Bridesmaid:
Well, you know what I always say is, "To think globally, act locally."
[chuckles]
Connor Mead:
[chuckles]
Then, before I, uh, commence the launch code... Are you the one my brother slept with? I don't like to cross swords.
Denice the Bridesmaid:
Wait, what? Your brother slept with one of the bridesmaids?
Connor Mead:
Okay, I guess it wasn't you. Okay, from now on, I don't... cross swords. Listen, forget I even brought it up. Hey, why don't you scamper up to my room, boil some water, get the chicken claw out of my suitcase, do some light stretching, and I will be up in five?
Denice the Bridesmaid:
[whispers very softly]
Chicken claw. Okay.
Connor Mead:
Chicken claw.
Denice the Bridesmaid:
Okay.
[chuckles, goes on her mission, whispering to herself:]
Denice the Bridesmaid:
Suitcase. Stretching. Scamper. Five minutes.
Connor Mead:
[to the amazed bartender]
And that's how it's done, son. That is how it's done.
Foyer Bartender:
Does it work on guys?
Connor Mead:
[only momentarily taken aback]
Probably.
