Dick Harper:
[holding McCallister at gunpoint]
I've been terminated, bankrupted, deported and blackmailed because of you, and I'm not leaving here without your money.
Jack McCallister:
What are you gonna do, Dick? Shoot me if I don't approve that form?
Dick Harper:
Write me a check.
Jack McCallister:
You are kidding me.
Jane Harper:
Dick, it's not going to do us any good. He's just going to cancel it the minute we walk out of here.
Dick Harper:
[eyes watering, getting emotional]
I don't care... I don't care. I'm not walking out of this bank empty-handed.
Jack McCallister:
...Alright. Alright, Dick, I'm gonna write you a check. I'm gonna need my hand back though.
Dick Harper:
Gladly.
[releases grip]
Jack McCallister:
Alright, yes sir, I'm gonna write you that check, and what's more I'm not gonna cancel it as soon as I leave the bank because I think it takes alotta cojones to do what you two have done here today, and I admire that. So, here you go. Just a little something to show you what I think you're worth.
[hands him a check for $100]
Jack McCallister:
Y'all take care now.
[McCallister leaves; Jane approaches a dejected Dick tenderly]
Jane Harper:
Honey... sweetie... give me the squirt gun.
Dick Harper:
[not looking at her]
Do you still have McCallister's form?
Jane Harper:
Yeah, why?
[Dick looks up at her holding McCallister's check]
Dick Harper:
Because I just got his signature.
[He holds up a fountain pen]
Dick Harper:
Weren't you an art major?
[Jane realizes that, just like McCallister, she's been had by Dick]
Jane Harper:
[quietly excited]
Dick Harper! I was completely fooled! I didn't know you could act!
Dick Harper:
Hon. In 10th grade, I played Biff in "Death of a Salesman". See how I got my eyes all watering up? Yes, sir. It's all right there.
