Jeff Spicoli:
[notices Spicoli's empty desk]
Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him near the first floor restrooms. Is he still on campus? Anyone? Yes, Desmond?
Desmond:
Uh, I saw him by the food machines.
Mr. Hand:
How long ago?
Desmond:
Right before class.
Mr. Hand:
Good. Bring him in.
[Desmond exits the room]
Mr. Hand:
[to the class]
What is this fascination about truancy? What is it that gets inside your heads? There are some teachers, in this school, who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play: they pretend they don't see you, you pretend you don't ditch. Now, who pays the price, later? You!
Jeff Spicoli:
[Spicoli, with a bagel tucked in his pants, enters the room as Desmond returns to his seat]
[laughs]
Jeff Spicoli:
Hey, wait, there's no birthday party for me, here!
[the class laughs]
Jeff Spicoli:
Hola, Mr. Hand.
Mr. Hand:
What's the reason for your truancy?
Jeff Spicoli:
Just couldn't make it on time?
Mr. Hand:
You mean, you couldn't or you wouldn't?
Jeff Spicoli:
Well, there was big crowd scene over at the food lines.
Mr. Hand:
Food will be eaten on YOUR time! Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?
Mr. Hand:
[dubious]
I don't know.
[the class laughs as Hand sighs heavily and writes I DON'T KNOW across the blackboard]
Mr. Hand:
I like that.
[chuckles]
Mr. Hand:
"I don't know". That's very nice.
[to Spicoli]
Mr. Hand:
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna leave these words on the board for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit, of course, Mr. Spicoli.
Jeff Spicoli:
[happily]
All right.
