Ulf Pilgaard

Martin: You know what Hans Christian Andersen did? Every time he had masturbated he wrote a little X in his diary

Jens: If I had written down an X every time I had masturbated, there wouldn't be any pencils left in the whole wide world

Kommisæren: [to Jens] Have you ever tried getting killed?

[pause]

Kommisæren: I'll be back in a moment