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Harry: Number One, why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be in? Number Two, why doesn't this hotel have phones with fucking voicemail and not have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist? Number Three, you better fucking be in tomorrow night when I fucking call again or there'll be fucking hell to pay. I'm fucking telling you - Harry.
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Overweight Man: Been to the top of the tower?
Ray: Yeah... yeah, it's rubbish.
Overweight Man: It is? The guide book says it's a must see.
Ray: Well you lot ain't going up there.
Overweight Man: Pardon me? Why?
Ray: I mean, it's all winding stairs. I'm not being funny.
Overweight Man: What exactly are you trying to say?
Ray: What exactly am I trying to say? You's a bunch of fuckin' elephants.
[overweight man attempts to chase Ray around but quickly grows tired]
Ray: Come on, leave it fatty!
[the overweight women calm down the overweight man]
Overweight Woman #2: [to Ray] You know you're just the rudest man. The rudest man!
Ken: [coming back from the tower] What's all that about?
[Ray shrugs]
Ken: They're not going up there.
[to overweight family]
Ken: Hey, guys. I wouldn't go up there. It's really narrow.
Overweight Woman #2: Screw you, motherfucker!
Ken: [to Ray] What was that about?
Ray: [shrugs]
Theo Stevenson
Extended Reading
