Teddy Valdes

Ryder: Do you know what I'm looking at? Do you know what I'm looking at?

Walter Garber: No, I do not.

Ryder: Ok, well first there's my gun... and at the end of my gun, what's your name man?

George: George, everyone calls me Geo.

Ryder: George, his friends call him Geo. He's got this kinda eighties skateboard thing going on... he makes it work, but it's not gonna look too good in his casket.

Walter Garber: What's her name?

Ryder: Lavitca, she was Lithuanian... she was an ASS-model.

Walter Garber: She asked you what?

Ryder: You heard of hand-models, right? Advertisements?

Walter Garber: Right.

Ryder: She was an ass-model... she did jeans and uh you know, magazines and shit. Anyway, it was fashion week in New York and uh... I took her to Iceland.

Walter Garber: Lavitca, Lithuanian, Ass model, Iceland, you took her to the ice...

Ryder: So, for five-hundred bucks they'll take you on a dog-sled ride on a glacier.

Walter Garber: Dog-sled?

Ryder: Yeah... and you know that whole saying that if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes?

Walter Garber: Right, otherwise you're always looking at the asshole of the dog in front of you.

Ryder: That'll be funny in a minute when I get to that part.

Walter Garber: It's funny now.

Ryder: [next scene] And it's eight in the morning, we haven't been to bed yet... and we're tooling across this glacier and I got this hangover that's creeping up the back of my neck... and guess what I'm looking at?

Walter Garber: You're obviously you're staring at... the ass of the dog in front of you.

Ryder: You got it! So this dog... out of nowhere just lifts his hind-legs up and puts them in the, you know the harness there... and just takes a shit, while he's running on his front paws. So he's dumping and running, all at the same time... now that's multi-fucking-tasking if you ask me.

Walter Garber: Get outta here, did it hit you?

Ryder: Shit always hits you man.

[next scene]

Ryder: I didn't know it at the time, but it was profound.

Walter Garber: Profound?

Ryder: Yeah.

Walter Garber: Why? Uh, you lost me.

Ryder: Well, you know uh... when I went to prison later on, what you called. Uh, I had trouble going to the toilet... you know, a privacy thing. And I... couldn't take a shit. I was scared shitless... literally. So, you know what I thought of?

Walter Garber: You thought of the dog.

Ryder: That's right... I thought of that dog. If it could do what it needed to do... so could I. It saved my fucking live.

Walter Garber: Wow, that is profound.