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[In an animated dream sequence, Kung Fury finds himself in an exotic kingdom. He is then approached by a giant cobra on a hovering machine]
Kung Fury: Who the hell are you?
Cobra: My name is Cobra. I have been expecting you, Kung Fury. I'm your spirit animal.
Kung Fury: What the hell is this place?
Cobra: This is Heaven. I'm afraid you're dead.
Kung Fury: What? But it looks so real.
Cobra: Yeah... No, it's totally real.
Kung Fury: [Pulls out his badge] Mr. Cobra, I'm a police officer. I need you to send me back to Earth. Pronto.
Cobra: I'm sorry. I can't help you with that. You see, you're dead.
Kung Fury: You're under arrest!
Cobra: What?
Kung Fury: For obstruction of justice! You're breaking the law!
[Kung Fury powers up and charges toward Cobra to give him a flying kick]
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Kung Fury: Open the doors, Hoff.
Hoff 9000: I'm sorry, Fury. I can't let you do that.
Kung Fury: Open the doors, Hoff!
Hoff 9000: I'm sorry. I can't let you open the doors, Kung Fury.
Kung Fury: Goddammit, open the doors!
Hoff 9000: I'm sorry. I can't...
Kung Fury: Open the doors!
Hoff 9000: Did anyone tell you... not to hassle the Hoff 9000?
Kung Fury: Oh, Hoff 9000. Son of a bitch.
Steven Chew
Extended Reading
