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[Jake rings doorbell at Samantha's house]
Long Duk Dong: OK. I'm comin'.
[opens closet door]
Long Duk Dong: Hello? Jeez, this place is so confusing. OK.
[opens front door, screams, and shuts door]
Long Duk Dong: Go away! I call F.B.I.! I call police! Go away!
Jake: Open the door.
Long Duk Dong: No way, Jose!
Jake: Open the door.
Long Duk Dong: You beat up my face.
Jake: You grabbed my nuts.
Long Duk Dong: [looks through frosted glass on door] That you?
Jake: Yeah, that me.
Long Duk Dong: [opens door] Oh, so sorry! I thought you my new--new-style American girlfriend.
Jake: Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right?
Long Duk Dong: She not here.
Jake: Don't jerk me around, man. Where is she?
Long Duk Dong: She got married.
Jake: What?
Long Duk Dong: She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Yeah. Married
[closes door]
Jake: [turns around, under breath to himself] Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married! Jeez!
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The Geek: Very nice! We're five minutes in... I'm at a loss.
Bryce: Real smooth, Cliff.
Steve Monarque
Extended Reading