Stanislav Callas

[first lines]

Jojo Betzler: [Jojo puts on his uniform and looks at himself in the mirror] Jojo Betzler, ten years old. Today, you join the ranks of the Jungvolk in a very special training weekend. It's going to be intense. Today, you become a man.

[pause]

Jojo Betzler: I swear to devote all my energies and my strength to the savior of our country, and of his now. I am willing and ready to give up my life for him. So help me, God.

[Hitler walks around Jojo]

Adolf Hitler: Yes, that's right. Now, Jojo Betzler, what is your mind?

Jojo Betzler: Snake mind.

Adolf Hitler: And Jojo Betzler, what is your body?

Jojo Betzler: Wolf body.

Adolf Hitler: Jojo Betzler, what is your courage?

Jojo Betzler: Panther courage.

Adolf Hitler: And Jojo Betzler, what is your soul?

Jojo Betzler: A German soul.

Adolf Hitler: Yeah, man. You're ready.

Jojo Betzler: Adolf?

Adolf Hitler: Hmm?

Jojo Betzler: I don't... I don't think I can do this.

Adolf Hitler: What? Of course you can. Sure, you're a little bit scrawny and a bit unpopular and you can't tie your shoelaces even though you're 10 years old, but you're still the bestest, most loyal little Nazi I've ever met. Not to mention the fact you're really good looking. So you're gonna get out there and you're gonna have a great time, okay?

Jojo Betzler: Okay.

Adolf Hitler: That's the spirit, okay.

[Adolf turns Jojo around]

Adolf Hitler: Heil me, man.

Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.

Adolf Hitler: Whaaat? You can heil me better than that.

Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.

Adolf Hitler: Just throw it away. Don't even think about it.

Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.

Adolf Hitler: No, you're overthinking it. Heil Hitler.

Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitaler.

Adolf Hitler: Who's Hitaler? Do you even speak German?

Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.

Adolf Hitler: That's not a heil. This is a heil. Heil!

Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler!

Adolf Hitler: Heil Hitler!

Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler!

Adolf Hitler: Heil Hitler!

[Jojo continues to yell 'Heil Hitler!' several times]

Adolf Hitler: Ooh, that's it! You've got it! Heil Hitler! Have a great day! Heil Hitler! You can be the best! Heil Hitler! You can do it!

Jojo Betzler, Adolf Hitler: Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!

[they both scream until Jojo runs out the door]

Deertz: Heil Hitler!

Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!

Herr Junker: Heil Hitler!

Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!

Herr Mueller: Heil Hitler!

Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!

Herr Klum: Heil Hitler!

Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!

Herr Frosch: Heil Hitler!

Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler.