Seamon Glass

Capt. Kirk: All right, you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed. We'll see about you deserting my ship.

Spock: The term "half-breed" is somewhat applicable, but "computerized" is inaccurate. A machine can be computerized, not a man.

Capt. Kirk: What makes you think you're a man? You're an overgrown jackrabbit. An elf with a hyperactive thyroid.

Spock: Jim, I don't understand...

Capt. Kirk: Of course you don't understand. You don't have the brains to understand. All you have is printed circuits.

Spock: Captain, if you will excuse me.

[Tries to activate the transporter]

Capt. Kirk: [blocks Spock's way and interupts] What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak whose father was a computer and his mother an encyclopedia.

Spock: My mother was a teacher. My father an ambassador.

Capt. Kirk: Your father was a computer, like his son. An ambassador from a planet of traitors. The Vulcan never lived who had an ounce of integrity...

Spock: Captain, please don't...

Capt. Kirk: You're a traitor from a race of traitors. Disloyal to the core. Rotten! Like the rest of your subhuman race. And you've got the GALL... to make love to that girl!

Spock: That's enough.

Capt. Kirk: Does she know what she's getting, Spock? A carcass full of memory banks who should be squatting on a mushroom? Instead of passing himself off as a man? You belong in the circus, Spock, not a starship. Right next to the dog face boy!

[Spock begins beating the stew out of Kirk - he picks up a stool, ready to hit Kirk, then stops - the spore's influence is gone]

Capt. Kirk: Had enough? I never realized what it took to get under that thick hide of yours. Anyhow, I don't know what you're so mad about. It isn't every first officer who gets to belt his captain... several times.

Spock: You did that to me deliberately.

Capt. Kirk: Believe me, Mr. Spock. It was painful. In more ways than one.

[Grabs his hurting arm]

Spock: The spores. They're gone. I don't belong anymore.

Capt. Kirk: You said they were benevolent and peaceful. Violent emotions overwhelm them, destroy them. I had to make you angry enough to shake off their influence. That's the answer, Mr. Spock.

Spock: That may be correct, Captain, but trying to initiate a brawl with over 500 crewmen and colonists is hardly logical.

Capt. Kirk: I had something else in mind. Can you put together a subsonic transmitter? Something we can hook into the communication station and broadcast over the communicators?

Spock: It can be done.

Capt. Kirk: Good. Let's get to work.

Spock: Captain! Striking a fellow officer is a court-martial offense.

Capt. Kirk: Well, if we're both in the brig, who's gonna build the subsonic transmitter?

Spock: That is quite logical, Captain.