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Einar 2022-11-16 11:44:32
crooked brain joke
I watched the six episodes of the first season a long time ago, and didn't care too much. I just heard from my friends that this one is better than "Friends", but after opening it, I felt very tacky. There are no handsome men and beautiful women, and there is no warm New York coffee shop. There is...
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Albert 2022-11-28 11:52:31
The meaning of the bathroom~
Excerpt from the episode "the girl with one heart", Steve's important speech on the significance of the bathroom to men:
We are men! Throughout history, we have always needed, in times of difficulty, to retreat to our caves. It so happens that in this modern age, our caves are fully plumbed. The...
Ryan Philpott
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Patrick: It was just so embarrassing. I didn't know what to do.
Steve: Happens to us all mate.
Jeff: All of us, in our time, are visited by the melty man.
Patrick: The what?
Jeff: Don't say his name, Patrick. Don't even think his name or he will rise from the shadow dimensions to do his evil work on your terrified pants.
Patrick: [chuckle] Terrified pants?
Steve: [gravely] There's nothing funny about the melty man, Patrick.
Patrick: [face falls] You know about the melty man, too?
Steve: [in a "duh!" voice] We all know the melty man.
Patrick: Who is he?
Steve: The archenemy of trouser confidence.
Jeff: Professor Moriarty. In groin form.
Steve: Darth Vader
Jeff: Without the helmet.
Patrick: [terrified and shocked] What does he do?
Jeff: Patrick, you *know* what he does.
Patrick: [looks down] Oh right.
Jeff: You're in bed with a woman. Everything's going fine. That's when the melty man strikes.
Steve: Suddenly you find yourself thinking, "Maybe she's really bored".
Jeff: Maybe you're licking her neck too much. Are you over-wetting her neck?
Steve: Are you spending an equal amount of time on each breast? I mean, what if one breast gets ahead?
Jeff: Should you be switching between them really quickly or should you squish 'em both together and do them at once
[demonstrates]
Patrick: [frowns]
Steve: Or should you skip one breast completely just to save time?
Jeff: She's wriggling about. Is that a good sign or is she just trying to dry her neck?
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Sally: [trying to explain to Patrick what platonic friendship with a woman is] What do you call people you go out with but don't try to sleep with?
Patrick: [beat] Men.
