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Felix Ungar: I wonder if I might change my seat into the nonsmoking section?
Stewardess: Well, the entire plane is nonsmoking, sir. There's no one smoking on this aircraft.
Felix Ungar: I understand, but possibly the attendants who cleaned the planes at the airport were smoking.
Stewardess: Well, I'm sorry, sir, but the entire plane is full.
Felix Ungar: See, it's not just the smoke. The woman next to me is wearing a perfume that I have a definite allergy to.
Stewardess: I've already moved you once.
Felix Ungar: That was because of hair spray. Now... I just happen to be one of those hyperallergenic cases. Can't you at least try?
Stewardess: You mean sniff every woman on this plane until you find a perfume you're not allergic to?
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Oscar Madison: [Felix injured his foot at the airport, Oscar had given him a bucket full of ice which he has his foot in it while they're driving down the highway] Your foot feeling any better?
Felix Ungar: It's not a foot anymore. It's a piece of frozen meat.
Oscar Madison: Well, hang it out the window. It's warm out.
[Felix laughs]
Peter Renaday
Extended Reading
