-
Harry Dunne: Mr. Stainer, Mrs. Stainer so nice to see you.
Mr. Stainer: Harry, Lloyd. To what do we the owe the honor at this late hour, gentlemen?
Lloyd Christmas: We were just wondering if Pee Stain wanted to come out for some suds and maybe having his ass handed to him in a couple of games of Dig Dug.
Mr. Stainer: Lloyd. Peter is dead.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah right. Since when?
Mr. Stainer: Since 1991. Remember?
Lloyd Christmas: The motorcycle accident? But I thought he pulled through. The obituary said he was survived by his parents.
Mr. Stainer: No, he did not pull through.
Lloyd Christmas: Are you sure?
Mr. Stainer: Yes.
[Shows the duo a poster of their late son]
Lloyd Christmas: You guys are right. Anyway sorry about that whole thing. Pee Stain and I were close friends.
Mr. Stainer: Yeah, we know. You were the one who sold him the motorcycle.
Lloyd Christmas: And if I recall I made him a sweet deal. My bike for his helmet straight up. That thing was a rocket. A little squirrelly on the corners, and when you got on it straight away...
Mr. Stainer: Good night, Lloyd. Good night, Harry.
-
Harry Dunne: Let me ask you something Freida. If I'm not Penny's father and Lloyd's not her father then who's her father?
Fraida Felcher: Funny you should ask.
[to Penny]
Fraida Felcher: Honey how would uou like to meet some relatives?
[Points towards the Stainers]
Lloyd Christmas: Mr Stainer? I should have known. You horny old goat!
Fraida Felcher: No Lloyd. Mr Stainer is Penny's grandfather.
Harry Dunne: You mean Pee Stain's the dad?
Lloyd Christmas: Duh!
Pete Jones
Extended Reading
