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Ronal: Fucking barbarians, man.
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Narrator: [Opening scene with the people in slavery by the demons with the Demon Zaal ruling over them] In the beginning there was only darkness. And out of that darkness was born the Demon Zaal, ruler of the sa kiddies and oppressor of humankind.
Narrator: But from out of the shadows came Kron. Warrior above all warriors, and bearer of the gods saw.
[Then the hero warrior shows up on the mountaintop, he jumps from the mountain and lands on the ground and frees the human slaves]
Narrator: He freed humankind and led them to victory.
[Then the demons charged after Kron but he slices them with a sword and punches a hole in the demons stomach doing a hand pose. He then runs up against a giant demon and stabs him on the head and the demon explodes. But Kron got impaled in the chest and blood came gushing out of his chest]
Narrator: But victory was barely won, suffering a mortal wound to his heart. Kron bled for seven days and seven nights, and a hundred warriors drank of his spilled blood and bared his strength.
[Then the warriors developed mass muscles the men with muscular biceps, the woman with bigger breasts, but Ronal took one drop of blood and developed a bigger crotch spot]
Narrator: Kron looked down on them and what he saw was good, and with that he died. Thus were born the barbarians, the mighty sons of Kron.
[Then the movie title Ronal the Barbarian shows on screen and the movie begins]
Ole Ernst
Extended Reading
