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Van Wilder: Standing here today, I cannot help but wish I could stay in high school forever. I mean, there are so many warm mammories... Memories I have of this place.
[Van Wilder is receiving a blow job on stage from the Valedictorian]
Van Wilder: But, you see, change, like life, has a way of sneaking up on us. When we least expect it, yeah. Sure, the timing may seem very, very bad, but yet it feels good, so good, to be graduating with some of the sharpest minds and swiftly darting tongues that this school has to offer. Listen to me ramble. I am really giving you a mouthful. But before I'm finished, it is my extreme pleasure to recognize someone who has aced her oral exams, who has always been head of the class, graduating summa cum laude. Our very own valedictorian.
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Dean Charles Reardon: Well, well, Mr. Wilder. Nice of you to join us. Colonel Charles Reardon, Dean, Coolidge College.
Van Wilder: How's it hanging, Chuck?
Noel Holston
Extended Reading
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