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Violet Barnes: He kissed me, Tom!
Tom Solomon: K, you know what? That is a cop out. That is not fair. Yes, he may have been the one who kissed you. But there is a reason that he felt like that was an option. You know that's the truth.
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Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer: [Impression of Elmo] Elmo thinks you should do what you feel is right.
Violet Barnes: Well, I don't really know what I think is right. I think just, time will tell.
Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer: [Impression of Elmo] Elmo thinks time will tell.
Violet Barnes: Could you mind not doing that because you're repeating what I'm saying.
Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer: [Impression of Elmo] Elmo thinks you should shit or get off the pot.
Violet Barnes: [Impression of Cookie Monster] But me think that's a really rude thing to say, Elmo.
Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer: [Impression of Elmo] But Elmo says it's been almost five years! Almost five years! You either love him or you don't!
Violet Barnes: [Impression of Cookie Monster] Me love him but it's very complicated. Cookie doesn't get everything handed to him on a silver platter like Elmo.
Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer: [Impression of Elmo] Cookie does a career he wanted. Tom moved to Michigan so Cookie could work okay? Elmo wanted to be a kinesiologist but instead, Elmo is cleaning puke off her shirt every day!
Violet Barnes: [Impression of Cookie Monster] Well maybe as nice as little elmos are, Elmo should have considered using protection! C is for condom! That's good enough for me!
Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer: [Impression of Elmo] Elmo is very happy with Elmo's little elmos okay? Elmo would just like a break! Once in a while! Elmo never gets a break!
Violet Barnes: [Impression of Cookie Monster] Fine! This is fine! But this is precisely why Cookie wants to take the time to consider if he's picked the right cookie for his life!
Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer: [Impression of Elmo] Well maybe Elmo thinks there is no right cookie, you just pick one and take a bite!
Violet Barnes: [softly] Alright.
Nicholas Totis
Extended Reading
The Five-Year Engagement quotes
