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Artemus Gordon: I've been trying to place myself in Loveless' shoes.
Capt. James West: Good luck with that one.
Artemus Gordon: What could this demented maniac with no reproductive organs, want with Rita?
Artemus Gordon: [Rita falls through the train's sliding roof, beside West, unseen by Gordon] Which is not to say Rita doesn't possess a beauty worthy of a Shakespeare sonnet or a Botticelli painting. My god, the curvature of her buttocks and the swell of that magnificent bosom. So full, so sumptous, so...
Artemus Gordon: [turns and notices Rita] ... what were all those foreign ministers doing at Loveless' party? This is what really puzzles me, did you have any idea there were so many, so foreign, so...
[quietly to West]
Artemus Gordon: How long has she been here?
Capt. James West: Somewhere around Botticelli's buttocks.
Artemus Gordon: I am profoundly sorry.
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Capt. James West: For four long years I've been chasing the animal responsible for the massacre at New Liberty. I hear tell that's you.
Dr. Arliss Loveless: I am not an animal! I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am *angry*! And after I kill you, I swear I'm going to boil you down for axle grease!
Natalie Fabry
Extended Reading
