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Statler: [the door opens] There, now this here is Kermit the Frog's old office.
Waldorf: Or so we've been 'toad'.
[Statler and Waldorf chuckle]
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Statler: [the door opens, Statler, Waldorf, Uncle Deadly, Bobo the Bear, and Tex Richman enter the room] There, now this here is Kermit the Frog's old office.
Waldorf: Or so we've been 'toad'.
[Statler and Waldorf chuckle]
Tex Richman: Well, as you know, gentlemen, I've loved the Muppets since I was a boy.
Uncle Deadly, Bobo: Mm-hmm.
Tex Richman: And what better way to honor the Muppets than to make this beautiful studio a Muppet museum.
[Walter gasps while hiding underneath a table]
Tex Richman: I think I'll call this room the "Kermit the Frog's Old Office Room".
Uncle Deadly: Oh, good one, Mr. Richman.
Bobo: Oh, that is lovely.
Waldorf: Now, ahem, this here is the standard "Rich and Famous" contract Kermit signed 30 years ago that contains...
Tex Richman: The deed to this property.
Waldorf: Exactly.
Waldorf: Now, this contract is 100 percent iron-clad, with one minor exception: if the Muppets can raise the $10 million it would cost to buy the building before this contract expires, then they get their studio back.
Statler: You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of an important plot point.
Waldorf: Well, I hope so; otherwise I just bored the audience half to death.
Statler: You mean half the audience is still alive?
[Statler and Waldorf chuckle]
Waldorf: It's nice doing business with you.
Statler: Yes, sir. Come on.
Waldorf: Good-bye.
Bobo: [to Uncle Deadly] I love geriatric humor.
Mike DeMille
Extended Reading
