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Customer: [walks into pet store] Uh, excuse me, miss?
Owner: [looks up] What'd you mean "miss"?
Customer: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I... I have a cold.
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Self-Defense teacher: Now, it's quite simple to deal with a banana fiend. First, you force him to drop the banana. Then, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless!
Self-Defense student #2: Suppose he's got a bunch?
Self-Defense teacher: SHUT UP!
Self-Defense student #4: Suppose he's got a pointed stick?
Self-Defense teacher: ...SHUT UP!
Michael Palin
Michael Edward Palin, born on May 5, 1943 in England, England, is an actor/screenwriter/producer. Representative works include " A Liar's Autobiography-The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman ", " Arthur Christmas ", " The Seventh Python " and so on.
Extended Reading
And Now for Something Completely Different quotes
