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Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: Gladiator.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you kill last week?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: No.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you try to kill last week?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: Yeah.
Dole Office Clerk: Now, listen, this is your last week of unemployment insurance. Either you kill somebody next week or we're going to have to change your status, got it?
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Miriam: Miracle! Oh, what a beautiful name! What's yours?
Comicus: Miracle... uh, Comicus. I'm a stand-up philosopher.
Miriam: Oh, I'm Miriam. I'm a Vestal Virgin.
Comicus: I'm really sorry to hear that!
Michael Miller
Extended Reading
History of the World: Part I quotes
