Max Harris

Max Harris

  • Born:
  • Height:
  • Extended Reading

    Ted quotes

    • Donny: I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy and, uh... I remember seeing you on the Carson Show and... you were just wonderful.

      Ted: Oh, yeah that was uh... that was weird ineterview: Ed thought I was ALF and he kept muttering anti semitic comments... he thought ALF was Jewish for some reason...

      Donny: Hey-hey um... Have you ever considered selling the bear?

      John: What?

      Ted: Excuse me?

      Robert: I want it.

      Ted: [defensively] Hey, I'm not an it, pal! I'm a he, alright?

      John: [Stammers and stands up; he speaks in a calm tone] I'm sorry little guy, but my bear isn't for sale. See, I've had him since I was about your age. He's very, very special to me.

      Robert: Stand up straight when you're talking to me!

      John: [Dumbfounded] Why the fuck would he say that?

    • Ted: Company's turning 20, huh? So you can bang it but you can't get it drunk.