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Kurt: Did you touch the thermostat, did you turn it up?
Don: Well, of course, not... did somebody fiddle with the thermostat?
Kurt: Yes, it's 85 degrees!
Don: 85?
Kurt: 85!
Don: Do you have any idea how much even a few degrees can impact the gas bill?
Kurt: Of course, I do, it's unthinkable!
Brad: [Walks in] Dad, Kurt, what's going on in here? Why is it so hot?
Don: Somebody fiddled with the thermostat!
Brad: What? Who would do that?
Kurt: [They hear a noise and look out in the hallway. Adrianna walks to the thermostat and starts to turn it up] What do you think you're doing?
Brad: It's roasting in here!
Adrianna: [Matter-of-factly] I like to sleep with my window open.
Kurt: Hey, kid, are you allowed to touch the thermostat at your mom's house?
Adrianna: Pfft, duh!
[Walks back to her bedroom]
Dusty: [Joins the others in the hallway] What is going on?
Brad: Adrianna, she turned up the thermostat!
Kurt: Said she fiddles with the thermostat at your house any time she damn well pleases.
Don: Dusty, is that true? Tell me that's not true!
[Dusty, speechless, just sighs]
Don: Oh, criminy, Dusty. You might as well give her your wallet and your 401k while you're at it!
Kurt: Brad, do you let the kids touch the thermostat at your house?
Brad: What, no! The thermostat is a sacred covenant! I can't believe we're even talking about this! This is *madness*!
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Megan: [Pulling her t-shirt up to make into a midriff] I want my shirt like Adrianna's.
Sara: Uh, no, no, no, no, honey, we're not doing that, okay?
[pulls Megans shirt down]
Sara: put that back in, look like a nice kid.
Matthew Catanzano
Extended Reading