Mark Soper

Bonnie: George Malley! You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes?

George Malley: Not all of it.

Dr. Bob Niedorf: All right, I'll start the questions, and I'll be timing your responses, and we'll be recording. Any questions?

George Malley: What's your first name?

Dr. Bob Niedorf: Uh, my first name is Bob.

[George reaches across the wide table to shake hands]

George Malley: Shoot, Bob.

Dr. Bob Niedorf: Right. Name as many mammals as you can in 60 seconds. Ready? Go.

[Starts stopwatch]

George Malley: Hmm. 60 seconds. Well, how would you like that? How about alphabetical? Aardvark, baboon, caribou, dolphin, eohippus, fox, gorilla, hyena, ibex, jackal, kangaroo, lion, marmoset, Newfoundland, ocelot, panda, rat, sloth, tiger, unicorn, varmint, whale, yak, zebra. Now "varmint" is a stretch; so is "Newfoundland" (that's a dog breed); "unicorn" is mythical; "eohippus" is prehistoric. But you weren't being very specific, now, were you, Bob?

Dr. Bob Niedorf: [pauses, then stops watch and laughs] Well! Ahh, I'll, uh - I'll try to be more specific. You ready for the next one?

George Malley: Shoot.

Dr. Bob Niedorf: Answer as quickly as you can... how old is a person born in 1928?

[starts stopwatch]

George Malley: Man or a woman?

Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch and pauses] Why?

George Malley: Specifics, Bob.

Dr. Bob Niedorf: Okay, one more time. How old is a MAN born in 1928?

[starts stopwatch]

George Malley: Still alive?

Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops watch, pauses, nods] If a man is born in 1928, and he's still alive, how old is he?

[starts stopwatch]

George Malley: What month?

Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch] If a man was born October 3rd, 1928, and he's still alive, how old is he?

[starts stopwatch]

George Malley: What time?

Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch] 10 o'clock... PM!

[starts stopwatch]

George Malley: Where?

Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch; now impatient] Anywhere!

George Malley: Well, let's get specific, Bob! I mean, if the guy's still alive, born in California, October 3rd, 1928, 10 PM, he's 67 years, 9 months, 22 days, 14 hours, and...

[takes Bob's hand to see his wristwatch]

George Malley: ... and 12 minutes. If he was born in New York, he's 3 hours older, now isn't he?