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Davis: Dear Champion Vending Company: I put five quarters in your machine and proceeded to push B2, which should have given me peanut M&M's. Regrettably, it did not. I found this upsetting, as I was very hungry, and also my wife had died ten minutes earlier.
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Davis: You must be Chris.
Chris: You fucking my mom?
Davis: No, I'm not. We were just sleeping...
Chris: [interrupts] She's fucking crazy. If you haven't noticed, she's a fucking pothead. She calls it cannabis 'cause it makes her feel like less of a fucking pothead.
Davis: You say fuck a lot.
Chris: So?
Davis: So you're just not using it properly.
Chris: The fuck does that mean?
Davis: That's what I mean. Fuck is a great word, but if you use it too much then it just loses its value and you sound stupid.
Chris: Fuck you.
Davis: Exactly. I feel nothing and you sound like an idiot. Have a good one.
[Davis leaves]
Chris: Who the f...
[thinks about it]
Lytle Harper
Extended Reading
