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God: What is that Nicholas Cage doing in my movie?
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God: Shit happens, Gary. Crying about it don't do any good. But this, Gary... this is your sword that I give onto thee, and as long as you behold it, you need never fear any man. You are special. I choose you to wield this sword, and as long as it's in your possession, you need never know fear again!
Lauren McGibbon
Extended Reading