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V: OK, pull your shirts up over your heads. Come on.
V: M'kay, you're not hairy enough to be dangerous
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Frank Wheeler: [Frank has to gave a presentation on the female body/reproductive system to his class, so he uses V as a model] This is a woman. These are her breasts. They serve an important biological function in child-rearing as a both a food source and headrests. Size and shape of breasts may vary from person to person, but number is constant: one, two. Please?
[V unzips her denim shorts to reveal a flesh-colored leotard]
Frank Wheeler: [to the class] Who wants me to go on?
[his classmates cheer]
Frank Wheeler: Now I didn't want to do this, but it's part of the assignment.
[begins drawing a rough female reproduction system on V's leotard]
Frank Wheeler: These are the ovaries. That's where the eggs are. Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs. Each ovary is connected to its very own Fallopian tube, which swings, which swings down sort of like this, like a little freeway. Leading to the uterus, about this size baby motel. Just roughly here.
V: [chuckles as he draws on her]
Frank Wheeler: What?
V: It tickles.
Frank Wheeler: Oh, sorry.
Julie Niesen
Extended Reading
