Josh Richman

Nikki: [after having scoped out the club and giving the audience the scoop on all the fine young things he spies that he's already slept with] But tonight I'm not looking for the tight skin of a 20-year old. I'm in need of assiduation and that changes the game.

[He spies Samantha]

Nikki: Ah... here we go. The jacket's Dolce, the jeans are by Helmut Lang and the complexion comes from a strict regimen of facials. I'm guessing she drives a Mercedes. By the way, there's only one pick-up line. Everything else is cheese.

[Following her and not longer speak to the audience]

Nikki: Hi. What's your name?

Samantha: [Continuing to walk towards the door] Samantha.

Nikki: Hi, Samantha. I'm Nikki.

Samantha: [Flattered, but shaking her head] I'm leaving.

Nikki: Really? Why?

Samantha: It's late.

Nikki: You're right. We should get going. So wait a second. You had dinner here? What'd you have?

Samantha: I had a salad.

Nikki: What kind of salad?

Samantha: A Greek salad.

Nikki: You had a Greek salad at a French restaurant? I like that. Oh. Valet, huh? I bet you're a bad driver. You want me to drive? I'll flip you for it. Here. Heads, I drive; tails, you drive. There it is.

Samantha: It's tails. You flipped it.

Nikki: Well, you always flip it. Don't be a sore loser.

Samantha: Look, you're cute and everything, but you're not coming home with me. Thank you.

[She gives her ticket to the valet attendant as they reach the sidewalk outside]

Nikki: You're gonna have to do better than that. "You're cute and everything"? What's is that?

Samantha: I was trying not to be rude.

Nikki: You're far from rude.

Samantha: Awww.

Nikki: I'll help you out. Tell me you're married.

Samantha: I am not married. That would be a lie.

Nikki: You're not. Tell me that you're madly in love with someone.

Samantha: That would also be a lie.

Nikki: Mm-hmm. Then tell me why I can't come home with you?

Nikki: [She laughs and he then the bends in for a kiss which she accepts. We see the valet bringing her car up. Cut to the two of them in her car. He the speaks to the audience again] Roll the windows down, turn the music up and make an ass of yourself. It puts them at ease.