Joseph Morales

[Helen, coming upon her son Kyle kissing Tiffani in public, thinks her son's gone straight while Marc and Troy watch]

Helen: [joyfully, after smothering her son with kisses] You don't understand. I used to catch this boy masturbating with every vegetable in the frig, and now THIS!

Helen: [to Kyle] Have you told that awful ex-boyfriend of yours yet?

Kyle: [looking over to "awful ex-boyfriend" Marc] Mom, I-I have a feeling that he already knows.

Marc: I have a feeling this is the funniest thing he's ever seen.

Kyle: Well, I have a feeling that the childish things that he's doing are acts of jealousy; and, in some small way, it's kind of nice to know that he cares for a change.

Helen: Who gives a shit about him? I'm gonna be a grandma!