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Larry Gopnik: There's some mistake. I'm not a member of the Columbian Record Club.
Dick Dutton: Sir, you are Lawrence Gopnik of 8419 Fern Hill Road?
Larry Gopnik: No, I live at the Jolly Roger.
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Dybbuk?: I shaved hastily this morning and missed a bit-by you this makes me a dybbuk? It's true, I was sick with typhus when I stayed with Peselle, but I recovered, as you can plainly see, and now I-hugh!
[She stabs him in the chest with an ice pick]
Dybbuk?: What a wife you have!
Shtetl Husband: Woman, what have you done?
Dybbuk?: Why would she do such a thing? I ask you, Velvel, as a rational man: which of us is possessed?
Shtetl Wife: What do you say now about spirits? He is unharmed!
Dybbuk?: On the contrary! I don't feel at all well.
[Blood begins to seep from his chest]
Dybbuk?: One does a mitzvah and this is the thanks one gets?
Shtetl Husband: Dora! Woe, woe! How can such a thing be!
Dybbuk?: Perhaps I will have some soup. I am feeling weak. Or perhaps I should go. One knows when one isn't wanted.
Shtetl Husband: Dear wife. We are ruined. Tomorrow they will discover the body. All is lost.
Shtetl Wife: Nonsense, Velvel. Blessed is the Lord. Good riddance to evil.
John Edel
Extended Reading