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Milly: What do you know about Eric? Have you ever seen him do anything weird?
Geneva: That;s all I've ever seen him do.
Milly: No, I mean really weird.
Geneva: Dinky Patterson told me something weird about him once.
Milly: Who's Dinky Patterson?
Geneva: Dinky lived here before you; had your room. Anyway, Dinky used to get really annoyed with Eric climbing around outside his window. So, one day, he took his BB gun, stuffed the barrel with wet Kleenex and started shooting at Eric.
Milly: That's real sweet.
Geneva: He said he kept it up for about an hour, but Eric wouldn't budge, so he finally gave up. Here's the weird part: the next day, Dinky's looking around for his BB gun. You know where he said he found it? See that telephone pole? Dinky said it was up there, up on top of that box. That, somehow, Eric put it there. Of course, Dinky was the biggest liar I ever knew. It probably never happened.
Milly: Probably. What happened to Dinky? Why did he move?
Geneva: His dad got some hotshot job in Atlanta. Took the whole family.
[pause]
Geneva: So, where's your dad?
Milly: He died.
Geneva: What of?
Milly: [flatly] Cancer.
Geneva: Everyone in my family dies of cancer. My grandmother had stomach cancer. She lost 300 pounds before she died. Never looked better in her life. What kind did your dad have?
Milly: I don't know.
Geneva: They didn't tell you. They never tell the kids. Did it take a long time?
Milly: Can we drop the subject?
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Uncle Hugo: Don't shake the floor, please.
[Hugo repeatedly drops a cork on the floor until it lands on its end]
Uncle Hugo: There you go. You see, you can't start on a bottle until the cork lands on its feet. It's very frustrating when it takes a long time. On the other hand, it's quite delightful when it happens on the first toss.
[offers the bottle to Milly]
Uncle Hugo: Care for a drink?
Milly: No, no thank you.
Uncle Hugo: Are you calling me a drunk?
Milly: No.
Uncle Hugo: Why not?
Jay Underwood
Jay Underwood, born on October 1, 1968 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is an actor.
Extended Reading
