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Carter: [Freaking out after being attacked by zombie, his face covered in blood] Fuck!
Denise: Calm the fuck down!
Ben: Calm down? Are you crazy? We almost just got killed in there!
Denise: [Points to Ben's car] Is that your ride?
Ben: Can you please just tell us what the hell is going on?
Carter: Anyone? I really need to wash off my face right now!
Denise: [Looks back at Ben] Keys, now!
Ben: Not until you tell us what's happening.
Carter: A wet nap! Anyone got a wet nap?
[Pulls a bandana from pocket and uses that]
Denise: What the fuck do you think is happening? Everyone's eating each other.
Ben: Wait... Like a...
Denise: YES! Like that!
Ben: But that's not possible...
Carter: I think it's possible Ben. A dead stripper just tried to eat my face!
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Ben: [seeing Scout Leader Rogers, now a zombie, on the road] That's Scout Leader Rogers!
Carter: He looks like shit!
Augie: I set him on fire.
[everyone looks at him]
Augie: He tried to eat me!
Janell Islas
Extended Reading
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse quotes
