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Guy: So, did your parents do the whole traditional family Christmas?
Girl: Yeah.
[pause]
Girl: You?
Guy: No, my grandparents are Dutch. So I was raised on salted licorice and Sinterklaus.
Girl: How is that different from regular Santa Claus?
Guy: Well, instead of the North Pole, he lives in Spain and instead of elves, he's got this enforcer named Black Pete. So he's basically like your Santa Claus, only scarier.
[drops voice on "scarier"]
Girl: That's charming.
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Guy: Okay, so let me get this straight, you think I intentionally arranged for us to get stranded out here?
Girl: I don't know!
Guy: It was an accident, goddammit! You saw the other guy! You think he was in on it too?
Girl: Maybe!
Guy: You're crazy!
Girl: I'm crazy?
Guy: Yes!
Girl: You know what, while you were supposedly unconscious, I got through to a friend's voice mail and I'm sure she's called the cops.
Guy: Would you listen to yourself? What kind of a psycho do you think I am?
Girl: Exactly!
Gregory Jacobs
Extended Reading
