Greg Kolpakchi

[first lines]

Charles Xavier: Mother. What are you... I thought you were a burglar.

Mrs. Xavier: I didn't mean to scare you, darling. I was just getting a snack. Go back to bed. What's the matter? Go on, back to bed.I, I'll make you a hot chocolate.

Charles Xavier: Who are you? And what have you done with my mother?

Charles Xavier: [telepathically in her mind] My mother has never set foot in this kitchen in her life. And she certainly never made me a hot chocolate, unless you count ordering the maid to do it.

[Mrs Xavier nervously changes into a scared blue-skinned girl]

Young Raven: You're not... scared of me?

Charles Xavier: I always knew I couldn't be the only one in the world. The only one who was different. And here you are. Charles Xavier.

[takes her hand]

Young Raven: [hesitant] Raven.

Charles Xavier: You're hungry and alone. Take whatever you want. We've got lots of food. You don't have to steal. In fact, you never have to steal again.

Raven Darkholme: We should come up with secret codenames, we're secret agents now! I'll start, I'm gonna be Mystique.

Sean Cassidy: Damn! I wanted to be called Mystique!

Raven Darkholme: [Raven morphs into Sean] Too bad! Besides, I'm way more mysterious than you.

[Everybody applauds in amazement, Raven shifts back, indicates Sean]

Raven Darkholme: What about you?

Sean Cassidy: I wanna be... Banshee!

Hank McCoy: Why do you want to be named after a wailing spirit?

Sean Cassidy: You may want to cover your ears...

[everyone does so, Sean looks to shatter the glasses on the table, misdirects his shriek and shatters the large paned window instead, everybody laughs]

Raven Darkholme: [indicates Angel] What about you?

Angel Salvadore: [she stands, removing her jacket] My stage name is Angel... and it kind of fits.

[reveals her wings]

Raven Darkholme: You can fly?

Angel Salvadore: Uh huh, and...

[turns and spits out an acidic ball at the statue outside, everybody laughs]

Raven Darkholme: Darwin, what's your name?

Armando Muñoz: Well, Darwin's already a nickname... and it fits: "adapt to survive" and all... Check this.

[walks over to a fish aquarium nearby, dunks his head under the water - gills grow on the side of his face. Everyone applauds]

Armando Muñoz: Thank you!

[indicating Hank]

Armando Muñoz: What about you?

Alex Summers: How about Bigfoot?

Raven Darkholme: Well you know what they say about guys with big feet, and you're are kinda small...

[chuckles among the group]

Armando Muñoz: What is your gift, Alex?

Alex Summers: I can't. I can't do it. Not here.

Armando Muñoz: Could you do it outside? Come on!

[Everybody eggs Alex on to show off, he finally gives in, and walks outside the window]

Alex Summers: Get back when I tell you.

[He readies himself, the group leans out the window]

Alex Summers: Get back!

[They do, but immediately lean back out]

Alex Summers: Whatever.

[Alex rocks his body as blades of energy swirl around him and fly around until he's able to launch at the statue, slicing it off at the torso]