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Prince Philip: Have you seen the latest funeral guest list?
HM Queen Elizabeth II: No.
Prince Philip: I suggest you keep it that way. A chorus line of soap stars and homosexuals.
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Alastair Campbell: They, er, sent a copy of the Queen's speech. Might want to scrape the frost off it first... Oh, I phoned them with a couple of suggestions, to make it sound like it came from a human being.
Tony Blair: Yeah, all right, Alastair.
Alastair Campbell: Well, at least the old bat's finally agreed to visit Diana's coffin.
Tony Blair: You know, when you get it wrong, you really get it wrong! That woman has given her whole life in service to her people. Fifty years doing a job SHE never wanted! A job she watched kill her father. She's executed it with honor, dignity, and, as far as I can tell, without a single blemish, and now we're all baying for her blood! All because she's struggling to lead the world in mourning for someone who... who threw everything she offered back in her face. And who, for the last few years, seemed committed 24/7 to destroying everything she holds most dear!
David Starkey
Extended Reading
