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Bailiff: Your honor, Case #456790: The People Vs. Mabel Simmons & Helen McCarter - Criminal trespassing, Reckless endangerment, Criminal possession of a handgun, Assault with a deadly weapon, Suspended license, Expired registration, Reckless driving, and a broken tailight.
Madea: [to Helen] Girl, I know it ain't who I think it is.
Judge Ephriam: [turning cross] I know you didn't say Mabel Simmons. Madea?
Madea: How you doin', uh, Judge Mablean? It's good to see - Ooh, your hair's pretty. Girl, look at you. You're lookin' good. How you been? Hey...
Judge Ephriam: [angry] You're still at it?
Madea: This ain't even my fault. See, what happened was...
Judge Ephriam: [cuts her off] Just save it! Who's here for the defense?
[Brian, Madea's nephew walks into the courtroom]
Brian: Brian Simmons, on behalf of Mrs. McCarter and Mrs. Simmons, your honor.
Judge Ephriam: Brian.
Brian: How you doing, Judge Ephriam?
Judge Ephriam: Brian, I am getting tired of seein' your aunt.
Madea: [under her breath] Getting tired of seein' you.
Helen: [to Madea] Shh!
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Brian: It won't happen again.
Judge Ephriam: Yeah, I'll bet. Bail is set at $5,000 for Mrs. McCarter, property of cash. But as for you, Madea, I'm placing you under house arrest!
Madea: You ain't gonna put me on no house arrest, honey. I ain't gonna deal with that!
Judge Ephriam: It's either that or prison! What's your choice?
Madea: [convinced] I'll take the house arrest.
Crystal Porter Bazemore
Extended Reading
Diary of a Mad Black Woman quotes
