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Sam Baldwin: Well, I'm not looking for a mail-order bride. I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner, without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie.
Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.
Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "The Dirty Dozen".
Greg: Well, who didn't?
Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin...
[pretends to start crying]
Sam Baldwin: ... were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...
Greg: [also pretending to cry] Oh, God, stop it!
Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez...
Greg: Trini Lopez!
Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines.
Greg: [sobs dramatically] Stop it!
Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel, at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet 'cause he was the MP...
Greg: Please, no more! Oh, God, I loved that movie.
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Sam Baldwin: There is no way that we are going on a plane to meet some woman who be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn't you see "Fatal Attraction"?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well, I saw it, and it scared the shit out of me! It scared the shit out of every man in America!
Chris Byrne
Extended Reading
