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Chris: Whoa! Whoa! Wha-what's goin' on?
Inspector: Inspections for drugs and alcohol.
Noah: What?
Adam: Since when?
Student: O'Brien from the eighth floor's in a coma.
Chris: So?
Student: So the board instigated some new policies.
Adam: [overlapping the next two lines] That-that-that-that-that-that-that...
Noah: This is whack!
Chris: Can they even DO this?
Adam: I'm callin' my father's lawyer. Our parents pay a lot of money for us to enjoy our college experience.
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Chris: Come on! You're my asshole buddy. Look, since O'Brien died...
Paul Tannek: What?
Chris: O'Brien, on the eighth floor, he died. So they've instituted this new policy where they're, like, doing grocery inspections to make sure there's no alcohol coming in, and they're doing spot checks to make sure that there's, like, one guest per person. Just because one guy can't monitor his buzz, all of us got to suffer.
Chantal Cousineau
Extended Reading
