-
Winston: Oyez, oyez. Prince XII has returned.
[ducks trumpet]
Garfield: Thank you windbag, for that flobbering introduction. Hello, everybody!
[animals look in astonishment]
Garfield: Hey, listen up...
[flicks Winston's nose]
Garfield: is this an audience or a landscape? Okay, great to be back here at the palace. I look out, I see a sea of... of dumb barnyard animals. I'm here in your country to break up a romance between the guy who owns the house I live in and a girl who's way out of his league. I know that whatever it is that you have, there's some sort of affliction that produces this glazed look behind your eyes. I hope you defeat it. Wish I could take everybody home with me. Thank you.
[walks away]
Garfield: I killed.
Winston: Very funny, sire. Well done.
Nigel: I didn't realize it was amateur hour.
Eenie: What's up with Prince?
Christophe: Oh, he's on the catnip again.
I, Claudius: Hold on, chaps! Have I got news for you!
McBunny: What's the word, Claudius?
I, Claudius: Dargis is going to bulldoze the barnyard and feed us to the tourists!
Nigel: Let him try. He'll have to deal with these fists of fury first, wouldn't he?
[animals complain]
Winston: Calm yourselves, everyone. We're alright as long as Prince is alive.
McBunny: Well, obviously, that feline is not Prince, you idiots!
Preston: He's not even a cat formerly known as Prince.
[animals argue]
Winston: Wait, he doesn't have to be Prince. He just has to look like him. If he fooled me, he'll fool them.
McBunny: But what's to stop Dargis from getting rid of this cat too?
Winston: McBunny's right. We must protect this cat at all costs. Our fates rely on it.
-
Jon Arbuckle: [dries Prince with a towel] Mr. and Mrs. Jon Arbuckle... Liz Arbuckle... Elizabeth Arbuckle.
Prince: Listen, you dolt. There's been a coup d'etat. Attempted murder most foul. I am Prince XII of Carlyle.
[smoothens fur]
Prince: [to Odie] You there, with the wise and thoughtful look. Hello. Convince this man there's been a mix-up.
Jon Arbuckle: [comes out of the bathroom with a blow-dryer] Garfield, I want you to be at my wedding party.
Prince: Wedding party?
Jon Arbuckle: Think you can hold a basket of flowers in your mouth?
Prince: Enough with the frooming, you dunce. My subjects face mortal jeopardy.
[gets off the bed]
Prince: [to Odie] Dog, approach.
[Odie approaches Prince]
Prince: We must plan my escape, and I'm relying on your expedience and cunning.
[Odie begins chasing his tail]
Prince: [sighs] Okey-dokey, new plan.
Brian Manis
Extended Reading
Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties quotes