Brian Deacon

Brian Deacon

  • Born: 1949-2-13
  • Height: 5' 8" (1.73 m)
  • Extended Reading

    A Zed & Two Noughts quotes

    • Alba Bewick: Imagine that, the body - in all its delicious detail - fading away leaving a skeleton with iron legs.

    • Oswald Deuce: How fast does a woman decompose?

      Oliver Deuce: Six months, maybe a year? Depends on the conditions.

      Oswald Deuce: Does being pregnant make any difference?

      Oliver Deuce: No.

      Oswald Deuce: And the baby?

      Oliver Deuce: How far gone was she?

      Oswald Deuce: Perhaps ten weeks.

      Oliver Deuce: Then you'd never know.

      Oswald Deuce: [long pause] I cannot stand the idea of her rotting away.

      [short pause]

      Oswald Deuce: What is the first thing that happens?

      Oliver Deuce: The first thing that happens is bacteria set to work in the intestine.

      Oswald Deuce: What sort of bacteria?

      Oliver Deuce: [matter-of-factly] Bicosis populi. There are supposed to be 130,000 bicoses in each lick of a human tongue; 250,000 in a french kiss. First exchanged at the very beginning of creation when Adam kissed Eve.

      Oswald Deuce: Suppose Eve kissed Adam.

      Oliver Deuce: Unlikely. She used her first 100,000 on the apple.