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Zinnia Wormwood: [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] Mine are driving me crazy. I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough.
Matilda: [walking out of the room excitedly] I'll say!
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Agatha Trunchbull: [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] Can you spell?
Amanda Thripp: Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".
Agatha Trunchbull: You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it.
Amanda Thripp: She taught us with a poem.
Agatha Trunchbull: [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] A poem? How sweet. What poem would that be?
Amanda Thripp: Mrs. D, Mrs. I...
[everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]
Amanda Thripp: [chanting with the rest of the class] Mrs. F-F-I. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y!
Agatha Trunchbull: [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED?
[moves between the desks]
Agatha Trunchbull: Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry!
[whacks the desk again with her riding crop]
Austin Stout
Extended Reading
