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Officer Hanson: I don't want to cause any problems lieutenant, I just want a new partner.
Lt. Dixon: I understand, your partner is a racist prick, but you don't want to disturb any bad feelings for him.
Officer Hanson: Well, he's been on the force for a long time.
Lt. Dixon: Seventeen years.
Officer Hanson: And I do have to work here, Sir.
Lt. Dixon: So, you don't mind if there's a racist prick on the force, you just don't want him riding in your car?
Officer Hanson: If you need me to go on record about this, I will.
Lt. Dixon: That'd be great, write a full report. But I'm anxious to understand how an obvious bigot can go undetected for seventeen years, eleven of which he was under my personal supervision, which doesn't speak too highly of my managerial skills, but that's not your concern. I can't wait to read it.
Officer Hanson: What if i said I wanted a new partner for personal reasons?
Lt. Dixon: So now you're saying he's not a racist prick, you just don't like him?
Officer Hanson: Yes, Sir.
Lt. Dixon: That's not a good enough reason.
Officer Hanson: Then I should think of a better one and get back to you.
Lt. Dixon: So, you think I'm asking you to make one up?
Officer Hanson: No, Sir. I just can't think of one right now.
Lt. Dixon: You want to know what I heard? I heard it was a case of uncontrollable flatulence.
Officer Hanson: You want me to say he has flatulence?
Lt. Dixon: Not him, you. You have uncontrollable flatulence and your too embarrassed to ride with anyone else. That's why your requesting a one man car.
Officer Hanson: I'm not comfortable with that, lieutenant.
Lt. Dixon: I wouldn't be either, which is why I understand your need for privacy, just like I'm sure you understand how hard a black man must work to get to stay where I am in a racist organization like the LAPD, and how easily that can be taken away. That being said, it's your decision. You can put your career and mine on the line in pursuit of a just cause, or just admit to have an embarrassing problem of the personal nature.
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Christine: [to Cameron while impersonating a stereotypical African American slave] You're, right I have a lot to learn because I haven't quite learned how to shuck and jive, let me hear it again "thank you Mr. Po-lice man you sure mighty kind to us poor black folk, you be sure to let me know next time you finger fuck my wife!"
Allan Steele
Extended Reading
