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Col. Hans Landa: What a tremendously hostile world that a rat must endure. Yet not only does he survive, he thrives. Because our little foe has an instinct for survival and preservation second to none... And that, Monsieur, is what a Jew shares with a rat.
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Lt. Aldo Raine: [Drawing a map] Up the road apiece, there's an orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol fuckin' around there somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a goddamn sniper's delight. Now, if you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this here map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kinda artillery they're carrying with 'em.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Well, now Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me right now. Now, just take that finger of yours and point out on this here map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: [puts his hand over his heart] I respectfully refuse, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine: [a smack is heard offscreen] Hear that?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: Yes.
Lt. Aldo Raine: That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You might know him better by his nickname: "The Bear Jew". Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I've heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Aldo Raine: What d'you hear?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: He beats German soldiers with a club.
Lt. Aldo Raine: He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one last goddamn time, if you still respectfully refuse, I'm callin' the Bear Jew over. He's gonna take that big bat of his, and he's gonna beat your ass to death with it. Now, take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: [after brief pause] Fuck you... and your Jew dogs!
[the Basterds all laugh]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Quite frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies. Donny!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz: [from offscreen] Yeah?
Lt. Aldo Raine: We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!
Alex Boden
Extended Reading
