Transamerica evaluation action
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Toby: Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay?
Bree Osbourne: I beg your pardon.
Toby: There's this big, black tower, right? And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing, and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Frodo have to go to this cave and deposit their magic ring into this hot, steaming lava pit. Only at the last minute, Frodo can't perform, so Gollum bites of his finger. Gay.
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[discovering that her son is a frog-stealing, drug addicted prostitute]
Bree Osbourne: How much is the bail?
NYC Cop: Bail is set at one dollar.
Bree Osbourne: I can't possible afford... one dollar?